The best way to live a middle-aged woman: stay away from children, pay more attention to yourself, and support yourself

time:2023-01-29 13:40:40source:novahomeonline.com author:Conjugal life
The best way to live a middle-aged woman: stay away from children, pay more attention to yourself, and support yourself

01 The day before yesterday, at a party with her best friend, she was very emotional: "Fortunately, I am not with my ex, his original family is really sick. He is not married until now, and he has no sense of responsibility for the family. Now I think back to me and him A large part of the reason for the relationship problem between him was that his mother didn't let him go." The best friend talked to the boy for two years, but finally broke up because of the boy's mother. In fact, it is not easy for a boy's mother. She lost her husband in her early years and finally remarried, but when she was 45 years old, her second husband also died of illness. She has no life of her own, all her focus is on her two sons, and she often kidnaps her own children morally. Naturally, the two sons dare not disobey her, which leads to a kind of morbid and deformed relationship between them. family relationship. The eldest son got married and moved out. He was a "DINK family" and made it clear to her that he could not have children. The youngest son has been in several relationships, but they all ended in a breakup. My best friend is one of his girlfriends. My best friend also told me a detail: after her boyfriend graduated from college, his mother sold the house in her hometown and went straight to the city where he works. His mother was more attached to the younger son, and held the younger son more tightly. For a period of time, he slept with the younger son, and the two of them slept on the same bed. This is unbelievable and unacceptable, even if it is a mother and child, but is it a bit too much to sleep in the same bed. Of course one of the reasons they slept in the same bed was because his mother had just arrived and they had been found in a bigger house. Even if there are objective reasons, I still find it difficult to accept. We often say, "the child is a big boy and avoids the mother". With such a powerful mother, who would dare to marry him? He is 35 years old now, and he does not own a house. He still rents with his mother and has several girlfriends, but each of them broke up after seeing his mother. Of course, he chose his mother, who, like him, is quite suitable for a lifetime with his mother. I am not biased against single-parent families here, but I have a sincere suggestion: I hope single mothers can think about themselves, your children are not the whole of your life, and if you blindly pay for your children, it will also cause great harm to them. Psychological pressure, you have a very close relationship with your children, but this is not a good thing for them. You have to know that one day, children will eventually have their own lives, and you will also have your own life, it is impossible to follow your children for a lifetime. In fact, not only single mothers, I personally think that all women should pay attention to this, and must not regard children as the whole of their lives. When the children are young, we can take care of them more at that time, but when the children grow up and you have entered middle age, you should let go of the children at this time, and you should stay away from the children. The relationship between them will be healthier, you have to focus more on yourself, and you have to take good care of yourself. 02Actor Wei Chen and Tong Dawei collaborated on a TV series, "The Disappearing Child". This TV series is adapted from a family suspense novel "Sea Anemone". Yuan Wu, a decadent middle-aged man played by Wei Chen, is worthy of reflection as a parent. Yuan Wu's early life has been very smooth and excellent. He also has a very good family of origin. Yuan Wu scored more than 650 points in the college entrance examination, with perfect marks in mathematics, and graduated from a famous school. It stands to reason that someone like Yuan Wu should have a bright future, but Yuan Wu simply cannot adapt to the life of modern people. To be precise, Yuan Wu was unable to adapt to the life of getting rid of his mother. The mother's care for Yuan Wu was meticulous. As long as she was there, Yuan Wu would not have to grow up. Yuan Wu was used to having his mother arrange everything for him. When he was in college, his mother went to accompany him to study for a while. Yuan Wu fell in love, and even the wedding ring was prepared for him by his mother. Before his death, his mother once said to Yuan Wu, "If your mother is gone in the future, how will you live?" It is impossible for parents to follow their children for the rest of their lives. After a car accident, the mother left Yuan Wu. After the accidental death of his mother, Yuan Wu's life was in chaos. Yuan Wu was also involved in gambling. His wife abandoned him. When she left, she said, "I can't be like your mother." The subtext what is it? It's time for you to grow up, instead of living in a world that depends on your mother. Your mother is gone, are you still awake? Yuan Wu's middle-aged life was very decadent, but it was caused by himself. He didn't have a serious job. He also tricked his father into finding a job. As a result, he still went to the chess and card room to gamble. Live on his father's 2000 pension. His father died unexpectedly because of drunkenness. He thought that his father's death would awaken Yuan Wu, but he fell into the abyss again. Why does a young man who graduated from an excellent key university live more and more mourning after his mother's death? In the final analysis, his frustration is too poor. For a long time, everything was arranged by his mother, which caused him to have no sense of responsibility, he was immature, and he couldn't solve problems by himself. He couldn't be alone. From his mother's point of view, his mother is also quite sad, thinking that she has an excellent son, but in the end, she is just a marionette and has no ability to live independently at all. No matter how good a son is, he is a waste. After paying so much, my son is the whole of my life, and my son has indeed been cultivated very well, but what can I do? Haven't lived for myself in my life, isn't it sad? He had too much control over his son, which caused his son to not grow up. 03 Some mothers are very afraid that their children are getting farther and farther away from themselves, but what I want to tell you is that your relationship with your children is already drifting away. After a woman gets married and has a child, it is easy to live without self because of the natural emotional connection with the child. The unfortunate family is not divorced. They can't find emotional support from their husbands, so they pin their hopes on their children; even if they are divorced, they are still completely child-centered. Children are the whole of their lives, and they have no self. , seems to have sacrificed everything for the child, but the relationship with the child is very morbid. What is the best way to live a middle-aged woman? It is not to hold the child tightly, but to stay away from the child. You should pay more attention to yourself and support yourself more. How exactly do you live? Simple. Don't put your mind on the child all day long. The child has grown up, and you have to let him decide some things. He can tell you what he wants to tell you, and it doesn't matter if he doesn't want to tell you. Don't be too dependent on your child, let him take the initiative to get close to you naturally. You have to have your own circle of life and cultivate your own interests and hobbies. At this time, you are most suitable for living a brighter life and enriching yourself. A few days ago, I was talking to my husband about where our children will go to college. My children are only 5 years old, but I think it would be fine if they stayed in this city and went to college. If I want to go home, I can go home for a meal. . My husband said: "You still want to take care of them, but you haven't taken care of them enough. Even if you go to college in this city, you can't come back when you want to come back. The children will have their own lives when they are older, and you can also be comfortable. Live your own life, don't worry about it all day." The best education for children is to make them a person with an independent personality, and they have to make their own decisions about many things. Live their own lives well, the best family relationship is not who sticks to the other, but is independent of each other and occasionally depends on each other. I hope you can become a middle-aged woman who can support herself. Children are of course important, but they have their lives, and you have yours. Topic of the day: Do you consider your children the whole of your life? Welcome to leave a message. - END - ★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing warm emotional things in this world.
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