"50,000 betrothal gifts are exchanged for 200,000 dowries, are you crazy about money?" Mother-in-law: Being a daughter-in-law must help the poor

time:2023-01-29 16:30:18source:novahomeonline.com author:Unexpected situation
"50,000 betrothal gifts are exchanged for 200,000 dowries, are you crazy about money?" Mother-in-law: Being a daughter-in-law must help the poor

If your mother-in-law ordered you to hand over your prenuptial property, would you agree? Many people will disagree, but there will be a small number of people who dare not refuse because of the love of face. It may sound incredible, but the truth is that some people want to save face and suffer. When others make unreasonable demands on them, they want to refuse, but they don't dare to take action. Pressured, and finally did something that I regretted. The reason why they regretted it after being calculated is because life has no focus, they don't know what they value most, and they don't know what is most important to them. Such a person usually realizes that the most important thing to him is being calculated only after he has suffered a loss. In other words, if you figure out what you value most earlier, even when others are counting on you, and don’t let others take away the things that are most important to you, you can avoid being counted. The method is very simple. In the face of right and wrong, you can just lose face, because your face is not as important as the focus of your life.

Letter from readers:

01 Once, I was a person who wanted to save face and suffer. Although I often recognized this problem, I never change it. I never dreamed that I would get rid of this problem later because of marriage. Before that, I had suffered a lot because of my love of face. I didn’t dare to refuse other people’s requests. I always cared about other people’s opinions and always put other people’s feelings first. I once swore to get rid of my love for face, but because there was no suitable opportunity, and because there was no one who hurt me, I just talked every time. Including in love, I have not escaped the shackles of this problem. When my boyfriend pursued me, he used a stalking method. I rejected him implicitly many times, but he still didn't give up. In the end, I was embarrassed to refuse again, and the love began. It is conceivable that in this kind of love, I will not have a good feeling. Breaking up is more difficult for someone like me, because I am always soft-hearted because I love face. Even if I muster up the courage to break up, I will give up the idea of ​​breaking up because the other party is begging. Later, I reflected on it. The reason for this is that I didn't feel the seriousness of the problem. I really won't be so confused when the big right and the wrong come. 02For me, the big issue is about money. When I was discussing marriage with my boyfriend, I didn't care too much about how much dowry my husband gave me and how much things were prepared, because it had nothing to do with me. They gave the money and they had the right to take it away at any time. What I really care about is my own money. My understanding of marriage is this: the dowry given by my husband's family will be taken as a dowry later. The house that my husband's family bought, I don't want to calculate, just let me live in it. Starting a marriage based on this, the husband's family is equivalent to no money, because the things are still theirs. My money is still in my hands, and I don't spend it either. I think that starting from this, no one will suffer. What I didn't expect was that my mother-in-law didn't agree with my concept at all. She insisted on letting me implement her concept, and wanted me to help the poor without giving me a good face. She wanted to exchange 50,000 betrothal gifts for a dowry of 200,000 yuan. She wanted me to give my 150,000 pre-wedding property to my husband's family while returning the betrothal gift. She thought that was the only way to be fair. In my opinion, she is crazy about money. She did not admit that she was plotting against me, and quibly said: "Being a daughter-in-law must help the poor. Our family has everything ready. You can just move in with your bags. Shouldn't you pay more for such a cheap good thing?" Other aspects calculate me, and I may compromise because of the love of face. She wants to plot against me on the things I value most, so I have to be rude to her. I will never allow myself to help the poor, and have the ability to allow myself to be plotted by a poor and crazy mother-in-law. 03 I not only rejected my mother-in-law's unreasonable request, but also broke off the marriage in a high-profile manner. I finally found out that I didn't have to love face. The reason why I loved face before was because no one or anything touched my bottom line, and no one threatened me. If there is a situation where I have to turn my face, I don't need to love face. . This thing is like opening a gap for me, and since I turned my face, I don't care about face anymore. After the incident, my mother-in-law tried to apologize to me for forgiveness, but I didn't pay attention to it.

Emotional advice of Donglin Xiting:

Most troubles in life come from interpersonal relationships. If you don't believe it, you can pick up a trouble and deduce it. It must be related to someone or some people. Even if you are asking for trouble, it is also related to others. Either someone has provoked you, or you are compared with others. , or care about what others think. The question of loving face mentioned by the previous reader is also related to interpersonal relationships. To put it bluntly, it means that you care too much about the opinions of others and always put other people’s opinions first, which is why you always dare not refuse in life. This problem is caused by self-imposed limitations. No one is forcing you to care about what other people think, it's your own choice. Of course, you can make a lot of excuses to explain that you can't help yourself, but no matter what the excuses are, you can't deny the fact that you care about other people's opinions. Once you understand this, the way out is actually in front of you: you can choose to care about other people's opinions, or you can choose not to care about other people's opinions. You don’t care about other people’s opinions, even if you don’t care as much as before, you will focus more on yourself, so it’s not difficult to find out what you value the most. This is something that can be decided by your own will. You can do it in your daily life, or you can crawl in the face of right and wrong. Either way, as long as you pay more attention to yourself, you can pay less attention to what other people think. If you don't care about other people's opinions, you won't have to suffer for your face, and when others plot against you, you will have the courage to refuse.
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