I raised you for 25 years for your postgraduate studies, but I just want to leave you a dowry gift for your brother, so you don't recognize me?

time:2023-01-29 16:14:45source:novahomeonline.com author:Conjugal life
I raised you for 25 years for your postgraduate studies, but I just want to leave you a dowry gift for your brother, so you don't recognize me?

There is a saying in "The World": "Contradiction between relatives cannot be completely judged by right and wrong." It is difficult for an honest official to decide housework, because many housework does not have a clear right and wrong. You feel that the other party is wrong, but when you really think about it from the other party's point of view and understand his difficulties, you will feel that he is justifiable for doing so. For example, many children cannot accept the life that their parents interfere with. They want to take charge of their own lives, study their favorite schools and majors, do their favorite jobs, marry their favorite people, and settle down in their favorite cities. I don't want to be arranged by my parents. However, when you grow up and experience the sufferings of society, you may find that your parents did this not because they wanted to turn you into their marionette and interfere in your life, but because they were a past person. They have already stepped on these pits and know that your choice is immature, and they don't want you to suffer the hardships they have suffered again. When children resist, parents not only find it difficult to understand their children's desire to be in charge of their own lives, but feel aggrieved, thinking that they are all for their children's good, but their children do not know how to understand their parents' painstaking efforts. As the book "Why Home Hurts" wrote: "The key reason why it is difficult to understand relatives is that we are accustomed to starting from our own coordinate system to speculate, speculate, evaluate and even criticize another person. I completely forgot that the other party also has a phenomenon field and a coordinate system that is completely different from their own." Relatives should learn to empathize and think from the perspective of the other party, not just their own interests. Complaining if it is not good for oneself, thinking that the parents are not good or the children are not filial. "I raised you for 25 years for your postgraduate studies, but I just wanted to leave you a betrothal gift to my brother, so you don't recognize me? What did I do in my last life to raise an unfilial daughter like you? Well, I don't recognize me anymore. Right, get out of here, go to your man's house! In the future, if you are wronged and bullied by your in-laws, don't expect my mother to support you." Hearing Aunt Fan's words, her daughter really won After leaving the door, he also blocked the contact information of his parents, which made Aunt Fan even more angry.

01. I agreed to the request of my in-laws, in order to fulfill the wish of the old man, to have a son, is it wrong?

Before her younger brother was born, Aunt Fan's daughter, Liu Wanzhen, was the only child for 7 years, and she was also the darling of her parents. "Originally, I didn't want to ask for another one. I thought boys and girls were the same, and I persuaded my husband, but my in-laws quit! My in-laws have two sons. I’m a public official, and it’s not easy to have a baby, so my in-laws pinned their hopes on the life of our couple and won’t give up.” When his daughter was six years old, the father-in-law suffered from a terminal illness, and he refused to cooperate with the treatment, saying that he was a lot of age. He has lived enough, and he takes life and death very lightly, but he can't accept the reality that he has no grandchildren and his incense is cut off. , and also did ideological work for his wife. At the strong request of her in-laws and husband, Aunt Fan gave in, had a second child, and gave birth to a son. The father-in-law insisted on the birth of his grandson, and when he saw that it was a boy, he left with satisfaction. "When I was pregnant with my son, I felt that my daughter was in a low mood. My daughter liked to let me hold her and she liked to throw herself into my arms. My mother-in-law was worried that she would hurt the child in my stomach and would kill her, so I would stop and comfort her. Daughter, said that if I gave birth to a playmate for her, even if my mother has a younger brother, she will love her daughter very much." However, after her son was born, Aunt Fan could clearly feel that her daughter did not like this younger brother who had the same blood as her own. .

02. I admit that my son is young, and I am sometimes biased, but I did not treat my daughter badly!

Aunt Fan also admits to her daughter's accusation that her parents and grandma are partial , Aunt Fan will naturally favor her son. Needless to say, my mother-in-law has been screaming all day since her grandson was born, holding it in her hand for fear of falling, and holding it in her mouth for fear of melting. What the grandson wanted to eat and what toys he wanted, the mother-in-law did not refuse. As for her granddaughter Liu Wanzhen, let alone her mother-in-law, she would be fine if she could answer a few words. After the son was born, the husband Mr. Liu's attention to his daughter also plummeted. As for Aunt Fan, she also failed to keep a bowl of water level. When the children had conflicts, they would always blame the daughter: "You are older than your younger brother. So many, don't you know how to let your younger brother go?", "You are a sister, always bullying your younger brother, what does it look like", "How old are you, and you are still competing with your younger brother for favor, what do you want?" Slowly, Aunt Fan also I feel that the estrangement between my daughter and them is getting deeper and deeper. She no longer likes to act like a spoiled child with them, no longer shares her thoughts with her parents, and she likes to fight against her parents. "I told her not to fall in love when she was in high school, it would affect her grades, so she didn't listen. In the end, she didn't say anything about the breakup, and she didn't do well in the exam. She was brooding about not going to the university of her choice, and wanted to take the postgraduate entrance examination, but my husband refused to do it. , I thought it would be fine for her to finish university, but it is really a waste of money to go to graduate school. She was crying and making trouble at home, and she had to live, so I had to agree." After Aunt Fan's daughter finished graduate school, He was about to get married immediately. To marry his classmate, the man's house was very far away, and it would take half a day to take the high-speed train.

03. I am going to marry far away after graduation. I want to leave her dowry to my son as a reward for raising her. Is it too much?

Aunt Fan's husband was even more unhappy. He thought that he would spend so much money in vain that he would marry away as soon as he gave up his daughter. He didn't want to repay his parents at all. Aunt Fan also felt very dissatisfied. Considering that the boy's conditions are really good, his family is good, he has the ability, and he is a good match. Aunt Fan didn't think about hitting the mandarin ducks and opposing her daughter's marriage. So, together with her husband, she put forward a request of 200,000 betrothal gifts to the man. The man hadn't agreed yet. After the daughter heard it, she asked her parents about the arrangement of the dowry: "If you want so much, how much do you plan to give me? Do you plan to leave all the dowry to your younger brother?" Shouldn’t you be a graduate student and receive 200,000 betrothal gifts from you to your brother? How many times a year can you come back when you are married to such a far place? We have something to do, so we have to rely on your brother, can we count on you?” Hearing my father Liu Wanzhen was very angry and accused her parents of prioritizing sons and daughters. She said that all children and daughters are the same for so many years. Okay! Okay, I agreed, but the 200,000 is given to you, and in the future, I will be without parents, okay?" Hearing her daughter say such words, Aunt Fan became angry, slapped her daughter, and scolded her for being unfilial, which made the mother-daughter relationship even more tense. Now, her daughter has blocked her parents' contact information, and she doesn't answer the phone calls from relatives and friends. Aunt Fan feels extremely depressed: "Could it be, am I really wrong?"

04. The more money matters, the less family love.

The writer Fu Lei once said: "People's psychology often means that they don't value what they get, but they think it's their right. When they come, they're not grateful, but they're prone to resentment." is no longer there. As a parent, if you regard the upbringing of your children and the return of your children to your parents as a transaction, calculate how much you have spent on raising your children, and how much you want to get back from your children, otherwise you will feel that you have lost money and are easily hurt. Affectionate. As a child, if you cannot understand your parents in the slightest, you always feel that your parents are biased, and you feel that your parents are unfair because of some trivial things. Parents and children must learn to think in empathy, learn to take a step back from each other, and be grateful, in order to retain family affection for a long time. END. Topic of the day: Do you think Aunt Fan did something wrong? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.
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