Phoenix's mother's self-blame: "My son only slept 6 hours a week, but I borrowed 30,000 yuan from relatives"

time:2023-01-29 15:17:54source:novahomeonline.com author:Household hygiene
Phoenix's mother's self-blame: "My son only slept 6 hours a week, but I borrowed 30,000 yuan from relatives"

Regarding relatives, there is a saying on the Internet: When you look down on you when you are down, and envy you when you are doing well, he wants you to live well, but he doesn't want you to live better than him. This is a relative. I hope you are well, because you are his relatives, you are related by blood, and the instinct of kinship makes them wish you well. However, human nature is selfish, and it is easy to be jealous. When you see others living better than you, and this person is familiar, you will have a mentality of "I am not worse than him, why is my life not as good as him". Furthermore, since ancient times, there has always been a saying that one person can achieve the truth and ascend to heaven. When you become prosperous, he thinks that there is a blood relationship between the two of you, and he may see the hope of dazzling. In the face of interests, parents and children are very likely to turn their faces and deny their identity, let alone relatives who are estranged by blood? Zhou Guoping once said: "The sense of proportion is a sign of mature love. In interpersonal communication, you must know how to observe the necessary distance between people." In interpersonal communication, you must pay attention to the sense of proportion, try not to cause trouble to others, and have yourself The bottom line, say no to those who want to take advantage of you and cause you trouble. What makes young people feel distressed is that some relatives who do not give up until the purpose of taking advantage of them know that they are looking for young people with less affection to ask for it, and they are likely to be rejected by young people who value practical interests more than family affection, so they find them. Older, more affectionate parents, let them speak to their children. Relatives who do not have deep contacts, close relationships, and lack of affection are easy to reject. If the big deal is falling out, it is considered that there is no such relative. However, most of the parents who gave birth to us can’t open the mouth to refuse, and they can’t bear to disappoint their parents. , do not want to bear the stigma of unfilial piety. Recently, my cousin has encountered such a problem. Since he became a member of the Phoenix Army, many relatives feel that he has a high income, a lot of savings, and it is easy to borrow some money. So, I went to my aunt who was good-natured and helpful. "Then, my mother agreed to them and turned her head to look for me. You said, should I help or not? If you help, the money has been lent. I don't know if I can get it back. Your cousin-in-law is also angry. If you don't help, mother If I failed to fulfill my promise, wouldn't I be living in my hometown without face?"

01. I just don't want to worry my parents, Unexpectedly, my parents thought I was very comfortable;

30 years ago, my cousin was born, my grandfather and grandmother had three children, and only one son was my uncle. My uncle studied. However, my uncle was not that material. No matter how hard I tried, it would be difficult for me to get into the university. I finally had to give up and choose to farm for a living just like my parents. Unlike my uncle, my cousin has achieved good grades since he was a child. He was at the top of the class and often received awards, which made the whole family see the hope of being a college student. , was admitted to a 985 university and became the pride of the family. After his cousin graduated, he stayed in the provincial capital to work. As of now, his annual salary is around 350,000. 5 years ago, my cousin got married and had a daughter 3 years ago. My cousin is very filial. Five years ago, he used his savings to buy a nursing home for his aunt and uncle in the county seat. From the down payment, mortgage, decoration, and purchase of furniture and appliances, the cousin was responsible. My cousin is also very filial. She pays 2,500 yuan in alimony to my aunt and uncle every month. I often send back from the city some things that my aunt and uncle can’t buy or have suffered for most of their lives. "They asked me if I was doing well, and whether I was under a lot of pressure. I said it was fine, and there was no pressure. In fact, how could there be no pressure? I just felt that my parents were old and worked hard for me for most of their lives. It's time to enjoy the happiness, I also have a future, I can give them better living conditions, and don't let them worry about it anymore. , especially if you have the ability, you can solve anything."

02. It's not that I don't care about family, but my money is not a strong wind. It's hard for me to come here, but my parents don't understand it;

It's not only aunts and uncles who have this idea, but also other relatives. A cousin dressed as a successful person, they all think that his cousin is omnipotent and especially rich, so naturally there will be people who want to take advantage of it. Because my cousin was busy with work, he used to be obsessed with his studies, and he didn't have much contact with relatives. It was unrealistic to find him directly. Therefore, they found an aunt who was good-natured, helpful, and could be the master of the house. "There are borrowed money, my wife gives them 2,500 a month, and there are big red envelopes during the New Year's and festivals. They can't spend it all, and they save some money, and they are all lent out. If it is an urgent event, for example, a relative's My son is seriously ill and needs help urgently. I have nothing to say if I borrowed this money, but how much is borrowed and lost in the poker field, can I borrow it? Can I get it back?" Some relatives went to the provincial capital to do errands and see a doctor, in order to It was easy to find my aunt. My aunt was very hospitable, so I went with them and took them to my cousin's house. My cousin not only had to stay overnight, but also ran errands. He was so busy with work that he had no time to deal with it, and felt very tired. "I finally sent them away with my mother. The house was so messed up that my wife was so angry that she quarreled with me several times. But I really don't know what to do." My cousin felt that he could never face his parents. Get angry, let your parents stop looking for yourself for relatives! He couldn't say no to either. Seeing that her husband could not solve it, the cousin had to go back to her parents' home for help.

03. My wife solved it with tact, and let me understand that it is impossible to report good news and not bad news.

"I told my daughter-in-law, just give us 1,000 a month, we are still young, we can farm and earn a little more, we don't need so much. If you have anything else, don't ask me, go Find my daughter-in-law, she promises to help, promises to lend money, that's fine, she doesn't, and I have nothing to say." Seeing that my aunt's attitude changed drastically and she learned to refuse, my mother felt very strange and asked her what happened. Hearing this, my aunt felt very self-blame: "My son only slept 6 hours a week, but I borrowed 30,000 yuan from relatives. Isn't this cheating my son? I just found out that he didn't live like me. I imagined it so well." It turned out that not long ago, under the pretense of granddaughter thinking of grandma, cousin-in-law took her aunt over to take care of the children during the summer, and the aunt went there in high spirits, and also saw the real life of her son and daughter-in-law. During that period, my cousin's company received a large order and was extremely busy. Not only did my cousin work overtime every day, but when he got home, he had to reply to messages while eating. He picked up his computer and worked until one or two in the morning. Then, seven or eight I went out to work at 1:00 a.m. Seeing that my aunt was extremely distressed, I felt heartbroken. "You can't work without overtime! You don't work overtime, someone adds, you don't want to work anymore? Look at this house, it's located in the urban area, it's in a key school district, and the price is high. The monthly mortgage is 12,000 yuan, and a family of 3 needs to eat. We need to drink, to socialize, and our children need to study and study in the future. Oh, you still want to have a grandson. We have to have a second child. This money is like running water. , you may not be able to live in this city." Hearing this, my aunt could not wait to slap herself, thinking of the money that was lent out, she felt even more regretful. So, not only did she decide to reduce the alimony, she was unwilling to rely on her son for support now, and wanted to lighten the burden on her son, but she also made up her mind that she would never hold back her son again.

04. If your parents thought you were omnipotent and troubled you, then don't report the good news instead of the bad news.

The writer Bi Shumin once said: "Rejection is suffering, but it is temporary suffering. After the pain comes peace." People keep making unreasonable demands and taking advantage of you because you don't know how to refuse. given. The first time you get the benefit, they may appreciate you, but they will have the courage to try it a second time. When the second and third time were satisfied, they spoke again without any scruples. In the end, it is easy to have a situation where Shengmi is fighting against Mi, your rejection has become a mistake, and your relationship is easy to deteriorate. If your parents think you are omnipotent and cause trouble for you, then don't report the good and the bad. Only by letting your distressed parents know that doing so is harming your interests and creating a block for you, and that their love for their sons has overcome relatives, can they close their mouths on causing trouble for your relatives. END. Topic of the day: Have your parents spoken to you for relatives? Feel free to share your story in the comments section.
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