|
"My daughter-in-law is hospitalized, why don't you help take care of the child?" Mother-in-law: Your mother, I am not a nanny I have wine and tea, if you have a story, come to me. Click "Follow" above, you are my person. 01 "The Ferryman": "Don't ignore every unexpected moment in your life, that's when your soul ferryman is telling you a secret." In life, there are not only unexpected surprises, but also unexpected harm. In both cases, it can be seen that the soul ferryman is telling you a secret, the purpose is to let you understand what you should stick to, what you should give up, who you should cherish, and who you should stay away from. In life, there will always be people who tell us not to think in extreme ways. In fact, in many cases, the more extreme, the more sober. Whether it's friendship, love or family, you can't see who is worthy of your cherishing in good times, and you may even mistake bad people for good people. Only when you need help the most can you see who is really good to you and who really loves you. Those who truly love you will not be absent when you need help the most, and vice versa. 02In the past, I valued family affection very much, and believed that family affection was an incomparable relationship between friendship and love. I believed that only family affection was the most precious and worthy of cherishing in a person's life. If I don't have friendship and love in my life, maybe I'll never update my knowledge. It is precisely because of love that I have the opportunity to compare the two in life, and I found that it is not family love that is really worth cherishing. It sounds a bit rebellious to say, people say, "Your parents gave you life, raised you, and no matter what they do to you, you can't help but cherish them." Having said that, I need my parents the most. At the time, they not only did not help me, but also fell into trouble. Should I be grateful to Dade? They gave birth to me and raised me, that was their subject, not what I asked them to do. I never thought of not repaying my kindness, but, is the relationship between us limited to a simple exchange of courtesy? After I got married, I have never ignored them. Giving money is the most common thing. Besides, I will never refuse whenever they ask me to do something, even if I am very busy, even if I just fell asleep. When I do this to them, shouldn't they help me when I need it the most? Is it wrong for me to ask them to help me? 03 My wife and I considered that it would be very hard for my mother to help take care of the children, so we didn't bother her. Although we were busy with our own work, we kept on gnashing our teeth. We grit our teeth on the basis of the physical and mental health of both of us, in other words, if anything goes wrong with either of us, our lives will fall apart. Perhaps because I was too tired, my daughter-in-law had to be hospitalized, and I had to make time to take care of her, which would leave my child unattended for the time being. I don't think my mother could stand by in this situation, plus we were so nice to her, she couldn't help us, but I was disappointed. She didn't want to help us take care of the children, even if I begged, she was indifferent, and she didn't forget to make some messy excuses, saying that she had always been a good mother-in-law, but my daughter-in-law was never a good daughter-in-law, saying that she didn't want to be here On the basis of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they are asking for trouble because of the problem of raising children: "Your mother, I am not a nanny, don't look for me at any time, I don't want to meddle in your business." I am very sad because she is talking nonsense, and the problems she fabricated are fundamental It doesn't exist, it's just an excuse she deliberately made up to avoid responsibility. After that, I went to my mother-in-law for help, and she went home with me without saying a word. I don't know, but after comparing, I found out that my biological mother is not as good as my mother-in-law. 04 If I keep bothering my mother after I get married, if my daughter-in-law, as a daughter-in-law, never treats her mother-in-law well, and she deliberately refuses to help us out of revenge, I have nothing to say. The question is, we have been treating her kindly, why is she not treating us well? I don't deny that family love cannot be parted, and that she has nurturing grace for me, but after I get married, can she completely let go of me and my children? If that's the case, can I just ignore her life and death after paying off her upbringing? I don't want to define family love in this way, but I can't help it. My mother has to define family love in this way, and I feel bad. Her kindness to me was always fixed before I got married, and the people who were really kind to me after that were my daughter-in-law and her maiden family. Now that things have come this far, I have also thought about it. If my mother makes mistakes again and again, I have to draw a clear line with her. I will do my filial piety where I should be, but other than that, I will not be nice to her anymore, because she has become someone who doesn't deserve my love, and she doesn't love me anymore. 05 I used to naively thought that life was all about addition, but I never thought about subtraction. Since that happened, I feel like I have to do some subtraction in my life. To tell the truth, since I got married, I have been very tired. A large part of the reason was that I didn't want to implicate my parents and put them under pressure because of my marriage, so I didn't ask them to pay, and I didn't ask them to contribute, which I thought at the time was proof that I was protecting my family, but in the end I found out , not worth the loss. Because I want to protect my family, I put a lot of pressure on my life. I thought that doing this would be earth-shattering and bring blessings, but I found out that my presupposed beauty was just wishful thinking. To put it a bit harsher, I might as well let my parents bear some of the expenses at the beginning, at least they will treat me badly after they contribute money, and I can still think that they paid for me and not care about them. I was kind enough not to put pressure on them, but they left the pressure on me, which is really disappointing to me. As a result, I have to reduce my life, and I can no longer burden myself with the pressure of family love. I should spare my energy to protect my marriage and the family love that marriage brings me. say more meaningful. |