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After taking a 6-hour car ride to accompany her boyfriend home for the Mid-Autumn Festival, the girl decided to leave when she saw that table of food Emotional writer Zhang Defen said: "The truth of marriage is the integration of a person and a family, and in the process of integration, the role of the mother-in-law cannot be ignored, and even plays a pivotal role." Whether it is a man or a woman, as a child, both It is impossible not to care about the feelings of the parents and to ignore the opinions of the parents. Think about it from another perspective. If your husband and your parents have a bad relationship, there will be conflicts as soon as you meet. Don't you feel embarrassed? When your parents scold you for your son-in-law, do you hesitate to quarrel with your parents and ask them not to embarrass your lover? In the face of the parents' accusations of "I am for your own good", can you stand firm on your husband's side? Don't you get angry when your man scolds your parents with you? In the same way, if your mother-in-law doesn't accept you from the very beginning, you bite the bullet and get married, and your husband is caught between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, it will be difficult to protect you completely and not let you suffer any grievances. As emotional expert Lu Qi said: "When you get married, you are not married to a certain person, but to all the social relationships of this person. So what kind of family do you marry, what kind of marriage will you have." I advise the girl Let's just say, whether it's your parents or the husband's parents who are not optimistic about your marriage and firmly oppose it, you must marry carefully. Unless your parents want to sell their daughter and don't love you, when they object, you really calm down and think about it carefully according to the reasons they gave, maybe, you will understand the painstaking efforts of your parents. As for the man's parents, if you don't want to face sharp contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as soon as you get married, and you don't want it to be difficult to integrate into the family, you need to be careful. "Mom, I'm going back now, can you wait for me to have dinner?" Although Gu Weiwei tried her best to control her emotions, her mother could still hear the crying in her daughter's voice. "No matter what time you arrive, your parents will be waiting for you. The Mid-Autumn Festival is when you are here." After listening to her mother's words, Gu Weiwei couldn't control it anymore, she cried to tears at the bus station of her boyfriend's hometown. 01. My mother told me that we are not in the right households, and it is difficult to get the approval of the other's parents, but I want to take a gamble;The day before yesterday, Gu Weiwei was full of joy and told her parents that her boyfriend was going to take her back to see her parents during the Mid-Autumn Festival. Today, the reason why she is so broken down is because she cannot get the approval of her boyfriend's parents, knowing that she is hopeless to marry her boyfriend. After two years of relationship, two people are in harmony, and they really want to get married, but they are defeated by the six words of being in the wrong house. Gu Weiwei is reluctant to let go of the man she loves, and she doesn't want to humiliate herself. If he likes himself, he rushes to marry and loses all face. In fact, it was as early as Gu Weiwei's mother's expectation that her daughter would not be recognized by the husband's parents. As early as when their daughter brought her boyfriend home to see them, they learned about the boy's family situation and told their daughter that Gu Weiwei was afraid she was not worthy. "I was born in a small county town, and I have a younger brother. When I was seven years old, my parents entrusted my younger brother and I to my grandparents in order to support the family and went out to work. Later, my younger brother and I were admitted to a city one after another. University, I graduated and stayed here to work. My parents also moved in and rented a house. The family of 4 lives together. Now, my mother washes dishes for others in a restaurant, and my father joins a factory. I can earn 8,000 yuan, and I have to live frugally. I hope to save more money to help my brother get married and have children." Gu Weiwei's boyfriend lives in a second-tier city in the coastal area. Both parents are teachers. After retirement, the benefits will not be too bad, and her boyfriend is an only child. Therefore, Gu Weiwei's parents felt that their family was inappropriate and worried that their daughter would not be recognized by her future in-laws. However, Gu Weiwei couldn't let it go, and in the end, she went to her boyfriend's house.02. After a six-hour drive, although he was warmly welcomed by his parents, he saw the vegetables sprinkled with coriander , I'm desperate;Because her boyfriend didn't get a high-speed rail ticket, so Gu Weiwei sat in his car, carrying her carefully selected gifts, spent six hours, endured the pain of motion sickness, and finally got in Arrived at my boyfriend's house around 8 am. When her boyfriend drove into a high-end looking neighborhood, he stopped, pointed to the neighborhood and told Gu Weiwei, "Look, there is a three-bedroom house in my house. In this neighborhood, it's the wedding room that my parents prepared for me. I always wanted me to come back and work hard. However, I think they are too strict with me, they have to ask about everything, I don’t want to stay in my hometown, I still like our city.” When she arrived at her boyfriend’s house, Gu Weiwei saw her boyfriend’s parents who were waiting at the door. , was also warmly received by her boyfriend's parents. "His parents are worthy of being teachers. They are very talented. As soon as they met, they greeted me, helped me with things, and welcomed me in. The fruits and snacks on the table were all my favorites." Afterwards, the boyfriend's father entered The kitchen was cooking and preparing lunch, and her boyfriend's mother pulled Gu Weiwei to chat. Chatting and chatting, Gu Weiwei realized that something was wrong. "It seems that he didn't tell my parents much about my family situation. When his mother knew that I had a younger brother and half of the family was halfway, the look in my eyes was obviously wrong. Although he was still very enthusiastic, his tone became very polite." When the table of food came, Gu Weiwei felt extremely desperate when she saw the six dishes sprinkled with coriander. "I don't eat coriander, he knows it, he can't just tell my parents what fruits I like to eat, and not say I don't eat coriander! Besides, even if you don't know, you shouldn't spread it like this! Obviously, His parents are telling me, girl, we don't approve."03. Give me a moment to think about it, seeing this reply, I I gave up;Even though her boyfriend saw it and helped Gu Weiwei take out the coriander, Gu Weiwei had a very difficult meal and felt restless. So, Gu Weiwei put down her chopsticks before taking a few bites, and casually chatted with her boyfriend's parents, she proposed to leave on the grounds that the Mid-Autumn Festival was a reunion festival and the parents missed her, but her boyfriend's parents not only did not keep them, but took the initiative to ask their sons Send Gu Weiwei a ride. "He took his mother into the house, and the two seemed to have an argument. After he came out, he looked very depressed and decided to send me away." "Your parents don't approve of you marrying me, right?" After listening to Gu Weiwei The problem, the boyfriend did not deny. It turned out that Gu Weiwei's parents didn't have stable jobs and good retirement benefits, and her boyfriend's parents were acceptable, but they couldn't accept that Gu Weiwei had a younger brother. They believed that it was impossible for Gu Weiwei's parents to solve their son's marriage, and they would definitely need their daughter's help. Although Gu Weiwei has a younger brother, but their parents don't prioritize sons over daughters, they try to be a level bowl of water, but due to their limited ability, they can't put much effort into Gu Weiwei's marriage: "Weiwei, I hope you can understand. , Parents have too little money, less than 100,000 yuan, and they can't help your brother. He is a boy, he needs to give a bride price to marry a wife, and he needs to buy a house. When you get married, we don't want the dowry money, we will take it all away, and we really have nothing to do with the dowry." "Give me some time to think about it?" After listening to her boyfriend, although Gu Weiwei agreed, However, she knew very well that it was impossible for the two of them.04. If you bite the bullet and get married, the chances of getting good fruit are really low."Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons" has a classic line: In life, everyone has their own pain, some pain, unavoidable; If you bite the bullet and marry into a family that is not recognized by his parents, you are most likely digging a hole for yourself. As a result, you are humiliating yourself. In the eyes of the other parent, you are arrogating them, greed for wealth, and will look down on you even more, and even bring your parents to be humiliated. Second, if you look down on you and feel that you are not worthy of their son's in-laws before you get married, even if you get married, it will be difficult to get their approval, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will become your biggest trouble from the beginning. Rather than stepping into a marriage that is destined to be difficult to be happy, even if you try your best, it will be difficult to bear fruit. END. Topic of the day: Do you have any good advice for Gu Weiwei? Feel free to share your views in the comments section. |