The more capable people are, the less likely they are to "raise the bar"

time:2023-03-24 author:Small family
The more capable people are, the less likely they are to "raise the bar"

Text/Xia Mo

01. Preface

Life is a process of constantly knowing oneself. To grow is to climb one mountain after another on the road of life. When we climb over a small hill, we applaud ourselves; when we climb over a high mountain, we look forward to what comes after. Every time we climb over, we will let us know that there are "people outside people" and need to maintain a humble attitude and get along with others. In Tao Te Ching, it is written: "The way of heaven is beneficial but not harmful; the way of saints is to act without contention." In the communication between people, everyone has a different way of thinking and often holds different views. . People who like to talk freely, insist on sticking to their own opinions, love to win or lose, and love to "raise the bar" are often less accepted by others. Love to "lift the bar" is actually a manifestation of immaturity. Capable people, the more they know how to maintain a sense of boundaries, keep their mouths shut, and will not easily "raise the bar" with others.

02. A person who is capable and cultivated

"raises the bar" will give people a feeling that they like to show themselves and have no tolerance for others. If a person always likes to "raise the bar" with his parents, others will think that he is not filial, not polite, and not filial to his parents. Really cultivated people, even if their parents are wrong, will not "raise the bar", but will communicate with them in a more gentle way. People who like to "raise the bar" often use an "aggressive" attitude to get along with others, which is easy to leave a bad first impression. Not only is it easy to get yourself into trouble, but it may also cause you to lose many good opportunities, which is not conducive to your own development. Franklin said: "If you always raise the bar and refute, you may occasionally win, but it's just an empty victory, because you can never get the other side's favor." People who always "raise the bar" are small-minded and narrow-minded. People have a feeling that they love to take advantage and are not easy to work with. If it continues like this, the road of life will become narrower and narrower, and there will be no great prospects in this life. A truly capable person will maintain his demeanor when communicating with others, giving people the impression of being kind, magnanimous, and cultivated. It's easy to gain recognition and appreciation from others.

03. Those who do not "raise the bar" have the ability.

On the road of life, many times, one's own value can be recognized by others, not by self-promotion . People who are really capable will not publicize their abilities too much, nor will they use the method of "lifting the bar" to show their abilities. People who like to "raise the bar" like to deny others. When something goes wrong, there is always a subconscious feeling that everyone is wrong, ignoring the objective facts. People who don't "raise the bar" know how to focus their time and energy on more important things. High-level people do not arbitrarily argue with others, do not "raise the bar", and do not want to entangle with them. People who don't raise the bar are often not vain and do not compete for fame and fortune. A person who has the ability will not be quick to talk, winning a debate, but losing the bearing and pattern. Don't care to take a little more gossip. For some losses, do not care. Capable people will make more people realize their own sense of value, will not attack and expose shortcomings, and are more willing to encourage those around them to bravely pursue happiness. People who don't care about winning or losing and don't "raise the bar" are often strong and have a fearless spirit.

04. The wisdom of being kind to others and not "raising the bar"

On the road of life, there is a kind of popularity, called being kind to others. They understand that: to be kind is to treat yourself with dignity. If you don't "raise the bar" with others, you will let yourself go. People who don't "raise the bar" have the means to manage contacts, and are good at managing circles and contacts. There is such a story in "The Strange Man in the World", it is said that there are two tea soup sellers in Tianjin, one is named Yang Qi and the other is named Yang Ba. Two people, one with good craftsmanship and the other with good eloquence, cooperate with each other tacitly, and are well-known for their business. Li Hongzhang inspected and came here, and also wanted to taste the taste of Yangjia tea soup. He took the bowl, and without taking a sip, he became furious and threw the bowl to the ground, and everyone knelt on the ground for a while, not knowing what went wrong. Only Yang Ba understood, Li Hongzhang was afraid that the crushed sesame seeds were regarded as dirty things. However, he did not explain, but said: "The adults don't like to eat sesame seeds, the villain doesn't know, please forgive the villain this time." Li Hongzhang turned his anger into joy by being so alert and not "raising the bar". Li Hongzhang not only did not continue to blame, but also rewarded him a lot of money, making his business bigger than before, and the road ahead is getting better and better. People who do not "raise the bar" will not easily offend people, and are good at grasping the sense of proportion in their speech. Not only can you save the face of others, but you can also explain your own intentions clearly. Such a person can defuse a sudden crisis. He is a kind-hearted person who does not "raise the bar" with others, knows how to give others a step down, and is good at giving others a way out. As a result, people who do not raise the bar are always easy to gain the sincerity of others.

05. Summary

Hemingway said: "It takes two years to learn to speak, but it takes a lifetime to learn to shut up." On the road of life, you will find that the more you learn to speak, the more you learn to speak. The more capable people are, the less likely they are to "raise the bar". The more capable people are, the less truth they have. Do not argue, do not explain, often focus on themselves. Be kind to others, don't "raise the bar" with others, fulfill others, and ultimately fulfill yourself. Capable people do not arbitrarily "raise the bar" with others, or refute others' words after taking it out of context. It's about being able to control your emotions and know how to think before you act. After thinking about it again and again, he said the words. People who don't "raise the bar" with others know how to respect others, give others the right to express, and show a better tolerance. On the road of life, be a person who can withstand the wind and rain, don't "raise the bar" at will, and get along well with others. Be kind to others, and the road will be wider and wider. -END- Author: Xia Mo, a cutting-edge emotional tutor, a psychologist, an emotional writer with over 1 billion people on the Internet, a manager of a happy woman, focusing on emotions, gender, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law for more than ten years.
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