This kind of mother is obviously willing to pay, but she feels that the whole family owes her, which is too suffocating

time:2022-12-08 author:Family diet
This kind of mother is obviously willing to pay, but she feels that the whole family owes her, which is too suffocating

Wen|Wener has a kind of mother in her life, and her family conditions are not bad, but she is reluctant to buy some good and expensive ones, so she only leaves it to her children. For example, let the children eat mango flesh and eat mango pits by themselves. The expensive mushroom soup is only for children to drink, and I am not willing to drink it myself. Waiting for it is obvious that you are willing to pay and sacrifice, and let others know, to create a perfect victim image for yourself. I think such a mother is mainly because she cannot find her valuable contribution to the family and lacks a sense of security in her heart, so she can only set up a sacrificial character for herself and create an atmosphere in which the whole family owes her. This kind of mother is obviously willing to pay, but she feels that the whole family owes her, which is too suffocating. This kind of maternal love is more like a mother like a family PUA. She is reluctant to give up everything that is delicious and easy to use, and leaves it to her children. This kind of maternal love seems to be great. But it is actually a kind of PUA, and it is not so selfless, because although such a mother has a spirit of dedication and sacrifice, she has a strong desire for return. Such a mother will feel that she has devoted herself to her child, and that the rest of the family should accept her love and be grateful to herself. They pretend to be pitiful in front of their husbands, which causes many men to work hard and work well, but they dare not enjoy life and feel guilty about eating a delicious meal alone, which greatly affects the happiness of the family. Then every time there is delicious food, I will tell the child that my mother is not willing to eat any delicious food for you, so I will give it to you. The children said they could eat together, but they still didn't. If the child does not eat, they will scold the child, saying that the child does not know what to do, and lives up to the painstaking efforts of the parents. If the child eats it and then says, how expensive this thing is, how many bricks do parents need to move, how much sweat it takes to buy a pound or two, and so on. Makes every bite the child takes is full of guilt. What's even more terrifying is that the child has clearly said not to do this, and everyone can eat together. She still does this, and then continues to move herself, and then goes around saying that I give the best to the child. As a result, the child does not appreciate it at all. Many injuries. It is undeniable that such a mother also loves her children very much. She is unwilling to suffer for her children when she suffers. She would rather eat and wear less than treat her children badly. But this kind of maternal love is too suffocating, and the self-righteous sacrificial spirit will make parents extremely eager to seek rewards from their children. So the words they often talk about are all for you, and when you grow up, you have to repay and so on. This is a kind of parenting that comes from the grace of giving birth, the most difficult moral kidnapping and spiritual shackles to get rid of, which will make children live with a sense of guilt owed to their parents, feel that their existence is a drag on their parents, and that they are a burden on their parents. It will even produce the idea of ​​why I was born in the first place. At the same time, when a child who grows up in such a family is self-aware, if the mother says some grievances, the child can't control the refutation and anger, which is really a disaster for the parent-child relationship. Moreover, the children taught by such parents are also very selfish. When they grow up, they feel that their parents are not easy, while they enjoy themselves and feel that everything is taken for granted.

Children and parents are equal, share good things together

As parents, we all want the best for our children within our ability . The limit of this degree is not to wrong yourself, so that even if the child does not meet his expectations, he will not complain about his existence. At the same time, when parents are not wronged, it is easier to treat their children with a normal heart, so that both children and parents are relaxed, which is conducive to the establishment of a good and healthy parent-child relationship. [Topic discussion: Do you have such parents around you? 】Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comics, welcome to pay attention to [Little Wife], you can find the answers to family education, mental health, child development, and fashion education you want to know.
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