|
The following behaviors of parents are the root of children's rebelliousness. Don't say something easily when you are angry. I often hear some parents complain that their children have been rebellious since they were teenagers. They often talk back at home and refuse to accept their parents' discipline at all. But in fact, the problems exposed by children can often be seen in their family education, and their performance reflects the education level of their parents. The pictures in this article are all from the Internet, and the pictures and texts have nothing to do h1>In the past parenting experience, I found a very interesting thing, many times when parents start to accuse their children of being ignorant, in most cases, it is because they have not entered the inner world of their children. I know a mother whose child is already a junior high school student. In order to improve her child's academic performance during the summer vacation, she enrolls her son in a summer vacation class. As a result, the child did not stay honest for a few days, so he repeatedly skipped class, and lied to his mother every day. Finally, the teacher of the cram school asked him to expose the child's lie. Bao's mother was very angry and said a few harsh words to her son. Unexpectedly, the son immediately turned his face, quarreled with his mother at home, and went to the Internet cafe for the night. Bao Ma really doesn't understand why her son is like a waking up beast when he reaches puberty, full of aggression. She complains everywhere that her son is too old and ignorant, and that raising her son is too embarrassing. However, her best friend's words woke her up, "How many times have you talked to him well in a year?" Indeed, as a strong woman, she is powerful at work, but the time left for her family is very limited. . She can clearly remember every piece of data in the company's annual report, but she doesn't even know her son's current height and weight, and every time she buys clothes that don't fit. And her negligence just paved the way for the child's current rebellion. Things like this may be staged in countless families every day. Many parents complain that their children are rebellious and ignorant when they grow up. In fact, it is precisely because they have become "sensible" that they try to use some extreme methods in exchange for their parents' love. "Decoding Mid-Adolescence", the author said this: "When a child keeps pushing his parents away, provokes his parents, and keeps doing this test, he actually just wants to see if his parents love him or not. "Many times, the "rebellion" of the parents comes first before the "rebellion" of the child. Parents' following behaviors are the root of children's rebellion1. Command children with a superior tone. Psychological research has found that adolescent children are In the stage of moving towards self-independence, it is most taboo for others to use commanding language to educate yourself, even if this person is your own parents. Many adolescent children are prone to reversal. First, because of the secretion of a large number of hormones, the child's body develops rapidly and their emotions become extreme. The second is that children's inner conflicts are more complicated, independence and dependence, ideal and reality, inferiority and conceit, these are all possible experiences of adolescent children. Physiologically rapid development, psychologically unstable, repeatedly tearing the child to the point that it becomes a "little adult", instinctively wanting to be in charge of himself, and unwilling others to use a high-spirited tone to order him. Once they hear the nagging and accusations of their parents, they will become irritable and resist, and want to escape. The extreme children will even resist their parents' discipline in a more rebellious way. 2. Habitual suppression and denial of children According to analysis by educators, adolescent children are not afraid of tigers when they are born. They often feel that they are omnipotent and have become great adults. In fact, they are self-confident on the surface, but they are extremely fragile inside. They are conceited and have a sensitive and fragile heart, and they regard the evaluation of adults as particularly important. If parents often suppress and deny children, it is easy to irritate them, distort their psychological development, and become a hedgehog in the future, accustomed to using bitterness to camouflage and protect themselves, but this is not only easy to stab others, but also abnormal inside. uncomfortable. Parents, please remember that you can beat your children appropriately, but don't deny and attack their personality. Although there is only one word difference between sternness and rigor, the effect is vastly different. 3. Repeatedly speaking the big truth and telling the truth, everyone will say the big truth, but the effect it brings has no other effect than self-impression. Especially for adolescent children, they are the most insensitive group of people. Just imagine, when we were in adolescence, we often heard our parents say, "You have to study hard, and you will be admitted to Peking University and Tsinghua University in the future, and you will not have to worry about your life..." Repeatedly repeating it every day, your ears are getting cocooned. Now, can I go to Peking University and Tsinghua University with just a few words? Remember a truth: when a sentence is repeated more than three times, it often becomes a nonsense. Continuing to listen will only make people feel impatient and want to escape, which is what psychology calls the "extraordinary effect". In addition, in addition to saying less about the big truth, there are some things to educate adolescent children, and don't say anything when you are angry.Adolescent children are "forbidden", parents should not be trickedThe famous educator Cai Yuanpei once said: "It is not what determines a child's life. Academic performance, but sound personality cultivation. To cultivate children's sound personality, the first thing parents have to do is to change the tone and way of speaking." 1. "I'm all for your own good!" There is always a moral kidnapping. It means that adolescent children are especially disgusted. 2. "You must listen to me about this!" The imperative tone mentioned above, the more you say it, the less likely the child will listen. 3. "You are too worried, you are so old." How can a conceited child accept this kind of ridicule? They are sensitive, and it is estimated that they will fry soon. 4. "Who told you not to listen to me in the first place, it's okay now..." Accountability afterwards will also make the child feel offended and become rebellious. The above words, I wonder if you often say it to your children? |