"Our house can't be cheap for your sister-in-law": in old age, we must learn to give selflessly

time:2023-01-29 03:25:40source:novahomeonline.com author:Life of the elderly
"Our house can't be cheap for your sister-in-law": in old age, we must learn to give selflessly

I have wine and tea, if you have a story, come to me. Click "Follow" above, you are my person. 01 Gogol's "Hypocrite": "The person whose behavior is the most shameful is always the first to speak ill of others." Ordinary people generally have such a habit: they like to evaluate others with themselves as the center, saying The bad words of others, but they never look back on themselves, do not judge whether their behaviors are ridiculous, do not pay attention to whether their behaviors are ridiculed. There is a paradox in life: we always listen to what others say and don't pay too much attention to what others think. This makes us more self-centered. Many people are confused about whether or not to care about other people's opinions. Today, I heard people say not to care about other people's opinions, so I don't care. Tomorrow, hearing people say other people's opinions are also worth referring to, and then go to care about other people's opinions. For people who are not used to thinking deeply about problems, the above problems are not problems because they have few concerns. For people who are accustomed to thinking deeply about problems, the above problems are very serious problems, and they must determine a clear direction in order to live in peace. 02 I am a person who is accustomed to thinking deeply about problems. I have swayed before, disliked myself, and wanted to be as simple as others, but in the end I found that it could not be changed at all. People who are accustomed to thinking deeply about problems should never try to become simple. That habit will accompany you for a lifetime. Since this is a constant factor, I can only treat my life based on it. Anyway, you have to think deeply, it is better to think about a clear answer. For example, on the marriage of my brother and sister-in-law, my mother and I have great differences. Her behavior makes me have to worry. Although she is my mother, I don't want to protect her. I prefer to stand on a united front with my sister-in-law, because we are both young people. If we get married, we all need to deal with my mother-in-law. , all need to involve interests and grievances. Specifically, my mother thought that my sister-in-law was taking advantage of our house. She treated my sister-in-law as an outsider and encouraged me to move to my brother-in-law's house, thinking that only in this way could my sister-in-law take so much advantage. Of course I won't go to my brother's and sister-in-law's house. What if I go? On the one hand, I'm not the kind of person who likes to take advantage of others. I don't want to eat and drink at other people's houses. Even if it's my brother and sister-in-law, I think we should keep a distance. On the other hand, I'm not a falcon dog raised by my mother. I can obey her individual orders, but let me obey her unconditionally, which I cannot. 03 My mother is not the kind of person who is used to thinking deeply about problems. She always takes self-centeredness when looking at problems, always only looks at the surface, and only makes inferences with superficial cognition. She only thinks that my sister-in-law has taken advantage of her, but not Think about the relationship between my sister-in-law and my brother, and don't think about why you are clinging to so much property. Seeing that I disobeyed her orders, she became very manic, and she scolded me for a good meal. After she finished scolding, she still asked me to go to my brother-in-law's house to rub it in, meaning to be a supervisor for her. If my sister-in-law has anything If there is any problem, report it to her promptly. In a hurry, I said what I wanted to say the most: "A mother-in-law is like you, destined to be old and helpless! Even if you don't like my sister-in-law and drive her away, my brother will still get married in the future, and you will still have a daughter-in-law. Are you tit-for-tat with your daughter-in-law? You are so stingy, my sister-in-law must be well aware of it. She can give you everything back, but there are conditions for doing so, that is, she will not be treated well by you, nor will she I will treat you kindly. If you think about it, you will know that my brother will never protect you. When you are old, even if you have money and a house, and no one will accompany you to take care of you, what is the point of your life? Is that what you wanted?" She was indifferent to my words, not only disrespectful, but also blamed me for turning my elbows out. I had to yell at her angrily: "You only think about my elbows, why don't you think about my motives? Don't forget, your daughter, I will get married in the future, and will have a mother-in-law. Imagine if I The mother-in-law I met is as nasty as you, will my life be better? Can I get along with my mother-in-law? Can I be filial to her willingly? Why don’t you know how to compare your heart with your heart?” However, after reaching a certain stage, the pattern must be opened. When it is time to give selflessly, you must be selfless. You must not be selfish, and you must not be a miser. Otherwise, you will not end well. Especially the status of the mother-in-law should be selfless dedication. Unless you decide from the beginning to draw a clear line with your son and daughter-in-law, and you do not want to give or take, otherwise, if you want to take, you must give first. Although it is said that in some cases there is an unequal pay and gain, if a person always lives in this worry, then don't do anything, because any decision you make may be wrong. If a mother-in-law treats her daughter-in-law generously, there is a high probability that she will be rewarded. This kind of thing cannot be used as a refusal to use individual cases, and because very few daughters-in-law do not know how to repay their kindness, they cannot deny daughters-in-law all over the world. In more cases, if the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are sensible and treat each other kindly, the relationship between them will show a virtuous circle.
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