Hidden wounds in marriage: Why did your marriage gradually lose the desire to share?

time:2023-01-29 15:49:57source:novahomeonline.com author:Family life
Hidden wounds in marriage: Why did your marriage gradually lose the desire to share?

Two days ago, a female fan said, "I feel like my husband and I have less and less desire to share. We used to talk about everything, but now it's okay to not send messages for a few days. Why is this happening?" The desire to share is a very important Things, I saw a sentence on the Internet before: to whomever the daily photos of the mobile phone album are sent, the life will be shared with whomever. It is to share some of your daily life, tell you what fun things happened today, what you ate today, and many other seemingly inconspicuous little things, but I just want to tell you so that you can also feel your own life. However, if the response of the other party does not meet our expectations, or the communication between each other is getting less and less, you are busy with work and I am happy, each playing on the mobile phone and no longer chatting, losing the desire to communicate, and gradually you are unwilling to stop talking. Share. Today, the genius came to chat with you, why does the desire to share slowly disappear? 1. We all know that everyone has different opinions, so when faced with the same thing, there will be different opinions, but we often ignore this point. When we share something with each other, we will judge whether the man understands himself or not by the attitude of the other party's response. For example, when you are walking and see the beautiful sunset today, you send it to a man, but he says, "Is this any different from an ordinary sunset?" You reply to the man: "Isn't it beautiful?" You: "What's so beautiful, you can see the sunset every day, it's very ordinary." The desire to share is useless. When you send him the sunset, you don't mean just to let him watch the sunset, but to make him feel "the sunset today is beautiful, I hope you can see it too." The man didn't get the point you want to share, Even the pictures you share with him don't make any sense. You must have experienced a lot of similar situations in your life, and many people are reluctant to share them. In the process of sharing with each other, we all long for ourselves to be valued and heard by the other party, and to have a common language instead of a few perfunctory sentences. But the other party may not feel your needs. After all, it is difficult for different people to experience the same feeling. If you often don't get the response you expect in sharing, and the other party often fails to get your point, he will gradually become cold and stop expressing himself. 2. I can’t speak well. I mentioned that many people just don’t get the point of sharing, and they gradually lose the desire to share. Some people will ask. If this is the case, why don’t you tell them directly when you share with them? What do you want to express so that the other party can understand it quickly? Yes, the ideas are all good, but in real life, everyone still sends a picture to each other first, and then starts to expect the other party to reply. We are very eager for the other party to have the same ideas as ours and have a common language . This kind of not directly telling the other party what they want to share comes from a psychological "I don't say it, you know what I'm thinking." Many women will pursue spiritual similarity, thinking that if a man loves himself enough and understands himself enough , even if he doesn't say or do anything, a man can easily read his own heart. For example, it is raining today, you think a man will come to pick you up, but you didn't send a message or call to tell him that you need to pick it up, but you waited for a long time after get off work, and the man still didn't pick you up, so you and the man Argued and said why he didn't understand himself. But if you can talk to the man well and send a message that you need to pick it up, the latter things will not happen. Taking the beauty of this fantasy as a standard, having too high expectations for the other party, and being unwilling to talk to the other party will gradually reduce the desire to share, and eventually even disappear. 3. Real sharing is not easy. Many people think that it is so difficult to share, and is it so difficult to say a few more words? Isn't it because of not enough love? In fact, it is really not easy to do real sharing. Sharing seems to be telling the other person what you see every day, the problems you encounter and your daily life. In fact, this is also a kind of self-exposure, expressing your emotions, and showing the other side of yourself to the other side. In sharing, we look forward to the other person's response and long for the other person to listen. But at this time, it is not easy to meet your own needs through the other party. In fact, it is not the desire to share that disappears, and we bear the consequences of the desire to share. Of course we long for each other to understand us, but such high expectations often bring only disappointment. Try to respond with lower expectations, and you may be able to gain more happiness from the desire to share.
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