The cat kicking effect in psychology is one of the root causes of the emotional crisis between husband and wife

time:2023-01-29 03:36:14source:novahomeonline.com author:Relationship
The cat kicking effect in psychology is one of the root causes of the emotional crisis between husband and wife

What is the kicking cat effect? Before explaining this term in psychology, let me tell a little story to my friends. In the course, the teacher asked his students: "What should I do if my parents beat me if my grades are not good?" A particularly naughty child answered: "Teacher, your question is too simple. If my parents beat me, I will Hit my younger brother, my younger brother resists beating." The teacher was dumbfounded by this answer, but what the teacher wanted to express was: poor academic performance, after being beaten by parents, you must understand the painstaking efforts of parents, and don't think because of I hate my parents for this. I should focus on my studies and be a good child who is worthy of my parents. After explaining the reason why he asked this question, another child said: "Teacher, if my parents beat me up, I will definitely feel bad in my heart. When I can't hold it back, I either cry or find someone to vent my anger. I feel that this method can make me feel better." The teacher educated the child: "If you can't beat others, wouldn't you be more angry if you beat others? If you beat others, your parents will lose their fortunes. Don't tell me, do you also go to the street begging for food like a beggar? Even if your family is rich and you can afford it, in case someone else's parents don't agree to reconciliation, they have to send you to prison and put you in a small school. Black Room, what if you never see your parents again?" The answer of the two children in this story is one of the manifestations of the cat kicking effect in psychology. The so-called cat kicking effect is that people will unconsciously choose the weaker party as the object of their anger after encountering some painful, grievous things. In the management of the relationship between husband and wife, the cat kicking effect is one of the roots of the emotional crisis. Regarding the impact of the cat kicking effect on the relationship management of husband and wife, Shila's case can make friends understand more thoroughly. Sheila (pseudonym) is a married female friend I met when I was an emotional counselor. Her married life is happy in the eyes of outsiders, because Sheila's husband is a man with a successful career. In reality, however, Sheila was not having a good time. When Shira's husband was unsatisfactory at work, or when he was in conflict with others, he would always put his anger on Shila, and Shila was beaten almost all over by her husband. Sheila thought about divorce, but she didn't dare. She thought that if she filed for divorce, her husband who domesticated her might treat her in a worse way. However, Sheila was very painful and helpless, and in this case, Sheila met an extramarital opposite sex who was good to her. As a result, Sheila thought of revenge on her husband, took the initiative to seduce the opposite sex outside of marriage, and had a relationship with him. Sheila's betrayal made Sheila's husband lose control for a time and almost killed her. Sheila understands that she can't stay in the marriage anymore, so she quickly finds a lawyer, asks her parents for help from relatives, and sues her husband in the name of domestic violence. Sheila told me that she didn't regret doing it because she hated him, she just felt sorry for her son and failed to protect him and let him live in the same pain as she did. Why is Sheila's marriage so unhappy? There are two reasons. The first reason is that Shila's husband was affected by the cat kicking effect, and vented the negative emotions brought by the external environment to Shila. The second reason is that Sheila was affected by the cat kicking effect, venting the negative emotions her husband brought to her on the opposite sex outside of marriage. In the relationship between husband and wife, if friends are affected by the cat kicking effect, their self-control will decline, bringing bad emotions into the home. However, a partner is not something to be slaughtered by oneself, so when the cat kicking effect exists between husband and wife, an emotional crisis will come as promised. Domestic violence and betrayal are relatively extreme things. Although they exist in reality, they are not many. Most of the emotional crisis of couples affected by the cat kicking effect is reflected in the cold war and conflict between husband and wife. Cold wars and conflicts will weaken people's sense of dependence on marriage, not to mention their sense of responsibility, and will also cause people to have strong thoughts of divorce when they are tortured by their partners. Do not want emotional crisis to appear in your marriage, friends have to overcome the impact of kicking the cat effect on their own marriage. The way to overcome is not difficult, just need friends to do one thing. When you encounter something that makes you feel more painful in your work and communication with others, you can vent your negative emotions through running, boxing, and going to the playground to play some relatively exciting projects. After venting, you feel better. Many go home again. This method not only allows friends to vent their negative emotions without affecting the management of the couple's relationship, but also keeps friends' moods in a healthy state. Friends, please remember: your partner is not your plaything, but your lover. You have the responsibility to treat your lover well, and you have no right to beat and scold your lover. As an adult, you must first learn to love people instead of hurting them, and only by learning this, in the stage of managing the relationship between husband and wife, will your life with your partner be better and happier. If you bring negative emotions back to your home, not only will your work and life be unsatisfactory, but your own marriage may not be preserved.
Related content