If the betrayers have these three attitudes, hope and future will make people's pain more and more intense

time:2022-12-08 11:48:10source:novahomeonline.com author:Parent child education
If the betrayers have these three attitudes, hope and future will make people's pain more and more intense

In psychology, there is a "transcendence effect", which is one of the weaknesses of human nature, because, under its influence, people's suffering will become more and more intense. The so-called "exceeding limit effect" means that a certain thing or a person stimulates people too much, too strong and for too long, which will cause people to resist and resist emotions. From the betrayer's point of view and from the emotional point of view, under the influence of the "exceeding limit effect", people will lose confidence in marriage due to their partner's nagging, neglect, indifference and other bad behaviors, have prejudice against their partner, and Emotional longing outside of marriage, betrayal of marriage. However, no matter why the betrayer betrays the marriage, as a victim, you must treat the betrayal rationally. You cannot ignore the three attitudes of the betrayal. Otherwise, hope and future will make people who encounter betrayal. more and more painful. Why do you say that? Not only the betrayers will be affected by the "exceeding effect", but the people who experience betrayal will also be affected by the "exceeding effect". As for the three attitudes of the betrayal, with the blessing of the "exceeding limit effect", the suffering of those who encounter the betrayal will become more intense.

Attitude 1: Don't change when I know my mistakes

Deborah (pseudonym) is my emotional counselor stage, A female friend she knew asked her husband if she knew he was wrong after she was betrayed by her husband. Deborah's husband not only had no guilt, but responded strongly: "Is it my fault for betraying my marriage? You Aren't you responsible? Why don't you think about your own problems?" Deborah was very angry at her husband's attitude, but she was reluctant to divorce, because her child was still young, and she didn't want her child to suffer because of this things get hurt. Deborah chose to go ahead with this concern. And Deborah's husband was certain that Deborah would not dare to divorce, so she betrayed again and again. From Deborah's case, we can find that Deborah's husband actually knew that he was wrong, but he just knew that he was wrong and did not have the attitude of repentance. Being betrayed by her husband time and time again, Deborah was really fed up, and she had several mental breakdowns. However, Deborah couldn't do anything about it. Deborah consulted me and asked me how to solve this problem. I taught Deborah a method, under the premise of controlling the other party's betrayal evidence, forcing the other party to secretly divorce her and move out of the house. After Deborah adopted my method, she suffered for a while, then she picked up the courage to manage her life with a positive attitude and live a better life than before.

Attitude 2: Negative treatment of husband and wife issues after return

Donald (pseudonym) and Deborah have different experiences , under his coercion, his wife returned to the family. However, despite the return, when dealing with the problems between husband and wife, he always has a negative look of "not paying attention". Donald really wanted to beat and scold his wife, but Donald didn't dare to do it. He was afraid that if he did, his wife would divorce him. Why is Donald so afraid of being divorced? The reason is that Donald loves his wife deeply. He has a strong emotional dependence. He believes that as long as his wife does not divorce him or leave him, sooner or later his wife will realize her importance and treat herself well. It is precisely this weak hope that makes Donald, after being betrayed, more and more painful and more disappointed, and even shrouded in despair several times. Donald couldn't understand why his wife, who had returned to the family, treated him with such a negative attitude. Actually, the answer to this question is simple. After the return, the betrayer who took a negative attitude towards his partner has long lost hope in marriage and no longer cares about his own life. Such people are like walking dead, full of resentment and hatred toward themselves, their marriage, their children, and the world, and they simply don't want to live a good life. In the face of this kind of betrayal, no matter what happened between the husband and wife before the betrayal, we can no longer hold on to hope. Divorce is the best choice. Otherwise, people who have been betrayed will be disappointed again and again, and the more they live, the more painful they will be.

Third attitude: don't think you're at fault

Daisy (pseudonym) has suffered more than Donald and Deborah Too bad, her husband didn't think he was at fault at all, thinking that he did nothing wrong, but Daisy was looking for trouble. In Daisy's husband's perception, it is normal for a capable man to have three wives and four concubines. As his wife, he should not point fingers at himself. Among the many betrayers, there is one type of betrayal, arrogant and selfish, and Daisy's husband obviously belongs to this type. Therefore, he not only brought his extramarital lover home, but also showed his affection in front of Daisy. It's not that Daisy doesn't want a divorce, it's that Daisy doesn't think she can get a divorce. Daisy's health is very poor, and her life must be taken care of. If she gets divorced, Daisy will not be able to live at all. Therefore, in the face of Daisy's painful experience, I am helpless, I can only tell Daisy, don't be sad because of this, it is not worth it, it is the best to treat the betrayal as a tool to make money. If possible, learn to take care of yourself, and when you have this ability, you can divorce your husband. Daisy's situation is a special situation, but Daisy's husband's situation is not a special situation. I hope that friends who have been betrayed will not have too many concerns when facing this kind of betrayal who does not think that they are at fault. Immediate divorce is the best choice. After a divorce, it may be painful for a while, but as long as you stay healthy or treat your life positively, sooner or later, the pain will disappear, and your life will be better and better managed by yourself.
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