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Why do married men and women get along with each other for a long time, the relationship worsens? It's married men and women who ignore praise and recognition Praise and recognition are two things that have enormous power, they can both bring people happiness and destroy people's happiness. Why do you say that? In psychology, there is a psychological behavior called the "Pygmalion Effect". It specifically refers to the extraordinary energy of eager expectation and praise, which can change a person's behavior, change a person's attitude towards things, and even stimulate people's potential. In layman's terms, when a person is recognized and praised by others, he will gain a driving force to treat life and marriage positively. And when people are not recognized and praised by others, people's emotional needs will be extremely lacking, and they will be full of resentment and unwillingness to their own life and marriage. When analyzing praise and recognition from an emotional point of view, it can be understood that the longer the married men and women get along, the worse the relationship is. The key reason is that married men and women ignore praise and recognition. In the establishment and maintenance of the relationship between husband and wife, the longer the relationship between husband and wife, the better the relationship will be. I say this for two reasons. One of the reasons: if you get it, you don’t cherish it, and you want something better after you get it.There is a weakness in human nature. A very precious thing, people won't cherish it anymore, and when it's lost, people will find its preciousness again. This weakness of human nature is one of the reasons why the relationship between married men and women is getting worse and worse. For example, when I was working as an emotional counselor, I met a female friend who almost betrayed her marriage. In this class, I will call her "Daniela" for the time being. In the stage of Daniela's relationship with her husband and in the early stages of marriage, she was very kind to her husband, because in Daniela's eyes, her husband was the best man and the man who could bring her happiness. However, when Daniela's husband threw himself into work under the pressure of life and a growing sense of responsibility, Daniela's mind gradually changed. The reason for the change is very simple. Daniela hopes that her husband will accompany her more, talk to her more, and take care of herself more. However, due to the pressure of life and work, Daniela's husband not only cannot accompany Daniela often. I can't care about Daniela yet. In this situation, Daniela felt empty and lonely, and had great resentment for her husband. It was at this time that Daniela met an extramarital heterosexual. He understood Daniela's mind and was able to meet Daniela's emotional needs, so Daniela was moved by him. However, in the end Daniela rejected the other party's confession under my advice and returned to the family. Daniela wants too much and wants too many things, so after marrying a man who is responsible for her family, children, and herself, she still wants to get more love and care from a man. However, everything cannot be two. Quan, Daniela almost did something to ruin her marriage in this undesired psychological behavior. Once you get it, you don’t cherish it anymore, and you want something better when you get it. This is the weakness of human nature. It will expand people’s desires. If people don’t stop it, sooner or later, their life will become worse and worse. . If, on the basis of understanding, Daniela can look at her husband's contribution to the family, even if she complains, she will not be easily tempted by the opposite sex outside of marriage. If Daniela can praise her husband's contribution to the family and recognize her husband's business philosophy in getting along with her husband, then Daniela's husband will be more towards Daniela in Daniela's approval. for love. If, after satisfying her husband's emotional needs, Daniela puts forward her emotional needs in a euphemistic way, no matter how busy Daniela's husband is, he will try his best to meet Daniela's request. The contribution between husband and wife is mutual. Few people lack gratitude, and most people are grateful to their partners. And because praise and recognition can expand people's gratitude, when people get along with their partners, using these two forces can strengthen the relationship between husband and wife.Reason #2: People always ignore their partner's needsOne of the reasons speaks of having a human weakness that is no longer cherished , also talked about the importance of praise and recognition, although these things are mentioned, but because of people's selfishness, people will always ignore the partner's need for praise and recognition. In other words, no matter how reasonable what I say, no matter how well I say it, no matter how serious the situation I say, people will not care too much. People only care about their own feelings, and rarely care too much about their partner's feelings. Taking Daniela as an example, it is true that Daniela did not make good use of the power of praise and recognition, and Daniela's husband did not realize the impact of the power of praise and recognition on the relationship between husband and wife. If Daniela's husband can give Daniela the care and consideration she wants in the stage of Daniela complaining and complaining, Daniela will not be affected by emptiness and loneliness. Her husband recognized Daniela's behavior and took practical actions at the stage when Daniela made her own demands, and Daniela would not be tempted by the opposite sex outside of marriage. It's a pity that Daniela's husband didn't do that. Although Daniela's husband has a strong sense of responsibility for the family, Daniela, and children, he does not realize that material needs are only part of the relationship between husband and wife, and the other part needs to be maintained by emotional needs. Due to practical problems, when the needs of the partner cannot be met through certain behaviors, a relatively simple and receptive way must be adopted to meet the needs of the partner. I hope that my friends can understand what I am talking about in the stage of marriage management, and don't ignore the need for praise and recognition from partners. |