Get along with husband and wife, be careful of emotional resonance, it will destroy your happiness

time:2023-01-29 06:36:29source:novahomeonline.com author:Relationship
Get along with husband and wife, be careful of emotional resonance, it will destroy your happiness

Do you feel inexplicably sad when you hear a certain song? Are you being dominated by anger and pleasure while watching a TV show? People are easily stimulated by the external environment, and have similar emotions to the emotional infection contained in the external environment. And people's emotions, the internal state and external performance of emotions can also affect and infect others, so that others also have the same or similar emotions as themselves. This psychological phenomenon is called "emotional resonance". Emotional resonance has both advantages and disadvantages for people. When people are talking about something or watching a program with their friends and lovers, they are especially prone to have similar emotions, and under the infection of such similar emotions, people's relationship with friends and lovers will increase, and the topics of communication will also be More than ever. The disadvantage is that once people have negative emotions and do not control them, it will affect the good mood of others and make others as miserable as themselves. In the stage of being an emotional counselor, I met a male friend who betrayed his marriage. He said that he did not love his extramarital lover, he just wanted to take revenge on his wife. What did the male friend's wife do that the male friend hated so much? His wife did 3 things that he couldn't bear. The first thing: her best friend married a man with a successful career, she was very envious and jealous, and she always used her best friend's husband to stimulate that friend and make that male friend feel more miserable. The second thing: As long as she's in a bad mood, she's either throwing things and smashing bowls, or choreographing the male friend. The third thing: the child's academic performance is not good, and certain needs cannot be met. She will shirk the responsibility on the male friend, making the male friend live a particularly useless life. The male friend told me this: "It's not that I don't want to resist, I just don't want to provoke a bigger conflict between husband and wife. However, I also have needs, and I also want to live a comfortable and happy life. If she told me , she wants to get divorced because of the betrayal, I will agree without hesitation, I have had enough of this life." It is certainly wrong to betray a partner, but if the betrayed partner treats him like that female friend partner, then the responsibility for the unhappy marriage cannot be entirely shirked on the betrayer. It's not to shirk responsibility for the betrayal, just imagine what you would do if your partner abused you domestically, treated you coldly, ignored your feelings, and used you as a tool to vent your bad emotions. Maybe some friends will say that "divorce is better than betrayal", yes, that's right, but people in the bureau can't see the truth of the matter, and these people will be in a bad mood and sense of responsibility. Under the influence, dare not divorce, these people will take alternative ways to find the happiness they think. The betrayal of some betrayals is excusable, and the betrayal of others cannot be forgiven. As an adult, we should rationally analyze the reasons for betrayal according to the real situation, instead of blindly blaming the betrayal, nor can we delay our good years because of the betrayal. In the face of the betrayal, the other party sincerely repents, and it is not impossible to give one chance, but not to give a second chance to betray. Moreover, after being betrayed, people have to find their own problems, and then manage their lives well through work, the expansion of interpersonal relationships, and the expansion of hobbies. If people who have been betrayed are affected by the bad emotions contained in the betrayal, they will lose their rationality. Like the male friend who betrayed their marriage, they cannot see the essence of marriage and happiness, and make wrong choices. The case I'm talking about is relatively extreme, but I think it can give friends a better understanding of the harm of "emotional resonance" to their own marriages. Whether it’s being treated unfairly at work or encountering something that makes you feel more painful in your life, you can’t vent your bad emotions on your partner, because no matter how much you love your partner, sooner or later One day I will lose my love for you because of this painful experience. In the stage of encountering marital problems, people are even less able to be affected by bad emotions. Because when two people are in a state of extreme and anger, not only will the problem of husband and wife not be solved, but it will also expand the problem of husband and wife, making the problem unsolvable. Many couples choose to divorce, seemingly because they are not in love and tired, but in fact they are affected by the negative emotions existing in the marriage, resulting in a very negative and pessimistic attitude. As we get married, I want my friends to remember two things: you and your partner are different people, and you and your partner are in a partnership. Due to the differences between men and women, there will definitely be many problems in getting along. However, since the relationship between husband and wife is a cooperative relationship rather than a hostile relationship, in the stage of marriage management, even if there are dissatisfaction and complaints, you cannot put negative emotions. Infect your partner. The premise of win-win cooperation is that people must learn to control their emotions, infect their positive and optimistic emotions to their partners, and let their partners manage each other’s marriages, families, and friends in a better manner just like themselves. Can you understand? ?
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