The fire of desire is the culprit in destroying happiness, do you know how to control its fire?

time:2023-01-29 author:Parent child education
The fire of desire is the culprit in destroying happiness, do you know how to control its fire?

The fire of desire is a double-edged sword, it can help people to be happy and fulfill their expectations, and it is also the main culprit in destroying people's happiness. Desire is an existence that no one can destroy, just like the immortal gods and demons in fantasy novels. So don't try to put out the fire of desire, when friends have such thoughts and behaviors, it will only make it a raging fire. Regarding the fire of desire, I divided it into 3 levels: small fire, medium fire, and big fire. The fire of desire is in the state of a small flame. People will lack motivation when doing anything, and they are particularly confused about their own life, not knowing what they want or what they should do. When the fire of desire reaches the level of medium fire, people know what they want and have an extremely powerful motivation to achieve their goals. The fire of desire takes the form of a raging fire. People will be burned by the fire of desire, and they will take any method to satisfy their desires. Such people are like acrobats walking on a tightrope without any safety measures, and if they are not careful, they will fall to the ground and die. Orison Ma Stool wrote a short story in his own book: a mother who was controlled by material desires, in order to let her daughter marry into a wealthy family, she would do whatever it takes to maintain her daughter's bright and beautiful image. However, the mother not only failed to achieve what she wished, but also carried a large amount of debt. Substitute this sentence into the management of life, and it can be understood as: people can only know what to do when they control the fire of desire, turn the small fire into a medium fire, and reduce the big fire to a medium fire. Run your life well. How to control the fire of desire? Teach your friends two ways.

Method 1: Manage your own life with a win-win attitude

Husband and wife are both partners and natural enemies However, many married male and female friends ignore the identity of collaborators and engrave the word enemy in their hearts. In the stage of being an emotional counselor, I met a female friend who kept complaining and complaining about her husband's incomprehension and laziness, and compared her husband to someone who destroyed her own happiness. If it were me, I would also complain about this type of man, but we cannot ignore one point: happiness is achieved by ourselves. Complaining and babbling blindly is useless and will only make ourselves more miserable. If she can manage her marriage with a win-win attitude and formulate a series of husband and wife responsibility distribution rules and housework schedules, then she can use this method to force her husband to help her reduce the burden. Maybe some female friends will say: "Teacher, what if he doesn't agree?" As long as friends stick to their own rules and regulations, and do what they should do, the lazy husband will abide by it sooner or later. If you want to get the husband to agree, the wife's female friends must take a soft and strong way. The so-called way of overcoming rigidity with softness refers to seducing and coaxing her husband with the gentle, weak, and understanding image that a woman possesses. Male friends can also adopt a win-win approach in the stage of marriage management. As long as they give their wives the thoughtfulness, care, love, praise, and recognition they want, male friends can make their wives love themselves in a better way. When operating a marriage in a cooperative and win-win manner, friends should keep one thing in mind: you can't treat your lover with selfishness and selfishness, and you must stand more from the lover's point of view and think for the lover's sake. As long as friends can manage their marriage and life in this way, then the small flame will reach the level of medium fire. Because, in win-win cooperation, your lover can inspire your sense of responsibility and let you know how to manage your life well.

Method 2: The combination of selfishness and selflessness

The combination of selfishness and selflessness means that people In the process of interpersonal communication, you can neither do things that harm your own interests, nor do things that harm the interests of others. For example, when negotiating with customers, while sticking to your own interests, you should think more about customers, and let customers realize your sincerity and the value you bring from the aspect of service quality. For example, if your friend asks you to borrow money, if it is not a matter of life-saving and emergency, you can prevaricate it on the grounds of "no money". When using this reason, to do one thing, you must prove that you really have no money, otherwise, it may cause the resentment of your friends. Rescuing the emergency rather than helping the poor is the key to a good life. Because, if you don't have money, you can go out to work, or you can borrow some from your family. There's no need to ask you for it. Those who borrow money from people without money, most of them have a bad mind. If your friend is really poor, you can let your friend come to your home to live with you for a period of time. During this time, help your friend find a job first. In this way, you can not only solve your friend's urgent needs, but also get your friend's approval. and grateful. The way of life management that combines selfishness and selflessness can help friends avoid some unfortunate things from happening, and can also suppress the fire of desire burning in their hearts. The reason for this effect is that selflessness can suppress selfishness.
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