The question of "Why do you do this" is the key to solving the problem of husband and wife and running a good marriage

time:2022-12-08 09:14:52source:novahomeonline.com author:Relationship
The question of "Why do you do this" is the key to solving the problem of husband and wife and running a good marriage

The key to solving husband and wife problems and running a good marriage lies in whether people consciously ponder the question of "why they do it". Why do you say that? Substitute this sentence into the matter of solving husband and wife problems and managing marriage, and it can be understood as: when there is a problem between husband and wife, don't treat your lover with anger and complaining, and quarrel with your lover, First, think about why the other party is doing it, and for what purpose. Knowing the purpose and needs of your lover, and based on your own gains and losses, you can find ways to solve problems and manage your marriage well. For example, in the stage of being an emotional counselor, I met a male friend whose wife would nag him every day. His method allowed him to avoid some troubles, but because he didn't have too many in-depth exchanges with each other, it also caused his relationship with his wife to be the most familiar stranger. The solution to the problem faced by this male friend is actually very simple. First, understand what the purpose of his wife's nagging is. For example, if his wife wants him to do more housework, then he can take the initiative to help his wife with the housework. Break the ice and make his wife treat him better. For another example, the purpose of his wife's nagging at him is to make him understand his hardships, then he can satisfy his wife's needs through praise. In the stage of running a marriage, if a man wants his wife to treat him better, he must first understand what his wife's needs are, and his wife's needs are often among complaints, nagging and dissatisfaction. Therefore, if the male friend can think over the question of why his wife is doing this when his wife is nagging, he can solve the problem with his wife in a targeted manner. In the same way, if your husband treats you in a cold and violent way, as a wife's female friend, you should think over and over why your husband does it, what benefits it does to him, and what purpose he has. If you understand this problem, you can solve the problems between husband and wife according to your husband's needs and purposes, and let your husband love you more. In fact, the solution of the husband and wife problem is not as difficult as we think. The reason why the husband and wife problem has always existed is because many married friends only pay attention to their own feelings, ignoring the needs and feelings of their lovers. Only thinking about yourself, not your lover, caused problems between husband and wife to appear constantly. Maybe some male friends will say, "Work hard, why don't you think about your wife", maybe some female friends will say "Raising children, handling household chores, why not thinking about your husband", I think these things are the responsibility of men and women for marriage And obligations, not behaviors for the sake of the lover. Responsibilities and obligations involve real needs, and are the key to whether people can eat, drink, live and travel comfortably, and whether people can live a stable life. Even if they are not married, people still need to do these things. After entering the marriage, at most, it is a personal job and an additional expense. Real needs are people's most basic survival and living needs, so this is not considered to be for the sake of the lover. The embodiment of truly caring for your lover lies in meeting your lover's emotional needs. The thoughtfulness, care, praise, recognition, and help that women want are women's emotional needs, and the understanding, respect, recognition, and encouragement that men want are men's emotional needs. No matter how many things you do for your family and children, it is a matter of course in the eyes of your lover. If friends can satisfy their lover’s emotional needs, there is only one thing they need to do to make their lover feel loved and to make them feel grateful. Real needs and emotional needs are both serious and true, but the division of labor between these two needs is different, so they are not the same thing. Friends who are wives or husbands should realize this. The key point of the question "why do this", the reason why it can solve the problem of husband and wife, and the reason why it can help friends to manage their marriage well, is that the answer to this question is directly related to the emotional needs of the lover, not the actual needs. At the stage of thinking about this problem, friends should not think from the perspective of pros and cons, but from the perspective of a lover. For example, in the love stage, your boyfriend tells you that the food in a certain place is delicious, not because he really wants to eat with you, but uses this reason to create an opportunity to fall in love with you. It's like your girlfriend says a certain movie is good, it's not that she really wants to see this movie, it's that she misses you and wants to see you. If you understand your lover's needs and satisfy your lover's needs, your lover will feel happier, but when your lover's happiness is overwhelming, if you make a small request of yourself, how can your lover not be satisfied? How can there be marital problems between you?
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